no change is best
even if changing would be better
Yesterday, my children started Primary School. They put on uniforms, and we walked as a family the fifteen minutes to their school. We took them into their new classroom, showed them where to hang their belongings, and within moments they were playing with children they’d never met before. I had no concerns going in that they would leave my side and quickly embed themselves into the setting.
Some children did not take well to the new setting nor when their parents left them behind. One child was rolling on the floor, completely overwhelmed by the emotion and unable to regulate themselves.
The school then hosted a coffee morning for us to meet other parents and key staff members. They even brought us photos of the children to show us how they were doing.
Some of the parents were overwhelmed that their children left their sides without looking back and struggled to regulate their reaction to their child’s rejection.
The mother whose child had no qualms about running into her new classroom to enjoy her day had told me and my partner this story through misty eyes, clearly only just holding her composure. She turned to me and asked if I had felt the same.
No, I hadn’t.
Those of us who crave novelty and long to burn our world down every few years to start afresh may wonder why others apparently fail to embrace the excitement of the new.
Seeing someone emotionally distraught by a situation that hasn’t phased me in the slightest is not a unique experience.
I have seen this happen time and again in both my personal and professional roles. Every time I see it happen, I try to use it as a reminder to myself that although I embrace change as an exciting opportunity to explore something new, to learn and grow, this is not true of everyone. (Perhaps not even true to most.)
I don’t have much to say about what being a leader or a coach has been like this week, so I hope this small insight into parenthood serves as a reminder that people want things to remain how they are. No matter how poor/boring/inefficient/ineffective/<insert adjective here> their world appears to you from the outside, consider that they may rather it stay that way because changing any aspect of it would be far worse than it is now, even if the result is better.
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